“I love him a lot and I know he loves me too. But sometimes I just don’t understand his behaviour.”
“He is saying he needs to break up with me for my own good. Is that true or just a line?”
“She says she will not marry me against her parents’ wishes. Why did she fall in love with me then?”
“I was there for him with my heart and soul when he was going through a rough patch. Now when things are good, it’s like he’s taking me for granted. Am I being selfish?”
Are these some of the scenarios that made you look for relationship advice? Then you have come to the right place!
Relationships can be a tricky matter. As much happiness they bring into our lives, they also compel us to think about so many things as once; sometimes it feels like we need to play them like games; sometimes we wish there was a manual for all relationships that could give all the right advice on how to have the perfect relationship!
Some of the occasions where you might need relationship advice are:
- When you like someone and don’t know how to tell them
- When you have just entered a relationship with your girlfriend/boyfriend
- When you are in love but somehow things don’t seem right
- When you feel that the person you are with may actually be interested in someone else!
- When you are about to get married and feel nervous
- When your marriage seems to be going through a rough patch
- When at any time, the person you love is hurting you and you don’t know how to tell them without losing them
Apart from the romantic ones, relationship problems can also include issues with parents, siblings, friends, co-workers etc. and they are just as important to lead a happy life.
Why professional relationship advice is a good idea
It looks like we may need relationship advice at any point in our relationships. If your problems have been going on for a long time and are not getting resolved with time, there is absolutely nothing wrong in seeking professional advice. It DOES NOT mean that you are weak and incapable of handling your relationships; instead it means that you care so much about your loved ones and your relationship with them that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. Here’s what happens when you go to a professional (like the therapists on The Emotional Wellness Initiatives) for relationship advice:
- Sometimes if feels good just to talk about how you have been feeling and get unconditional support in turn
- You get a completely objective third person view that can help you see things from a new perspective which is not possible with a friend or well-wisher
- There is no involvement of a ‘favour’ because you pay your therapist and in return get guaranteed professional service
- You can be completely open about your feelings with the assurance of not being judged, criticised or blamed
- A trained therapist can teach you relationship and interpersonal skills that are built up on strong theory and research, and which can equip you with ways to be happy in all relationships for life!
I’m assuming that if you have landed on this page it is because you are going through a rut in your romantic relationship, I would like to assure you that you are not alone. Love relationships are like a roller coaster ride for many, where you don’t know what the next bend is going to bring. More often than not though, these ups and downs sort themselves out if your relationship is built on a strong foundation. You just need to ride these times like a surfer rides a wave. Stay balanced, don’t let it drown you.
Meanwhile, here’s my A-B-C to get you through those difficult times:
A: Allow for space
If you feel that your partner appears distant and if he/she does not give a satisfactory answer when you first ask, leave them alone for a while. Sometimes things are small enough to get resolved on their own with a little time. But if somebody keeps drawing your attention to it by asking repeatedly, it’s bound to get worse.
B: Balance yourself
It may seem like right now you’re spiralling down a dark hole where your relationship is concerned, but you need to plant your feet on the ground. Too much of any emotion at a sensitive time like this will not do any good.
C: Closer, not farther
When your partner is upset, don’t make it about you. It may just be something they need to deal with alone. At this time don’t push them away, keep them close and let them know you’re there by their side. And sometimes, all you need to do this is a warm hug, their hand in your hand or just a silent walk with them.
My experience tells me that sometimes, in relationships, we overemphasize resolving issues. But many a times, the issues are something else, but due to this over-resolution, become entwined with the relationship. When crisis strikes, always remember, you need to remember “us” rather than “you” and “me”. If you can bring back the “us”, you will be able to sail through any storms!
If you want to build the best relationship with your partner, connect with our couple therapist Prachi S Vaish!